Living with chronic illness can feel like you’re constantly being pulled out of yourself—your body hurting, your emotions flooding or shutting down, your mind racing or going blank. Dr. Janina Fisher, a trauma therapist and teacher, has helped thousands of people understand that these intense ups and downs aren’t signs that you’re broken—they’re survival strategies. She teaches that our brains and bodies are wired to protect us, especially when we’ve lived through pain, fear, or the feeling of not being safe in our own skin.[ Fisher, J. (2017). Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors: Overcoming internal self-alienation. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315771247 ]

What we sometimes label as “overreacting,” “checking out,” or “melting down” are actually our nervous systems doing their best to cope when we’ve left what she calls the “window of tolerance”—the place where we feel calm, curious, and connected.

When you’re living with a chronic illness, it’s easy to swing out of that window. You might wake up in pain and feel immediately overwhelmed (hyperaroused), or you might feel so exhausted and emotionally flat that it’s hard to even speak (hypoaroused). Dr. Fisher invites us to understand these states not as failures, but as messengers.[ Fisher, J. (2021). Transforming the living legacy of trauma: A workbook for survivors and therapists. PESI Publishing & Media.] For example, if you feel panicked at a doctor’s office, your body might be remembering past experiences of being dismissed or misdiagnosed. If you freeze when someone asks how you’re feeling, it could be a protective part of you stepping in to avoid judgment or shame. By learning to recognize these patterns with curiosity, not blame, you can begin to gently shift how you respond to yourself in those moments.

Fisher also talks about how we all carry different “parts” of ourselves inside—like a scared child, a fierce protector, or a quiet observer. These parts can get loud when you’re dealing with illness. Maybe there’s a part of you that says, “Just push through,” and another that whispers, “I can’t do this anymore.” Rather than battling with yourself, Fisher encourages meeting these parts with compassion. What if the part that wants to give up isn’t weak, but tired of being ignored? What if the one that pushes hard is terrified of being useless or left behind? Listening to these parts doesn’t mean giving in to them—it means giving them space to be heard, which often helps bring calm and balance back into your system.

Your emotions are your teachers. They make sense but must be put in the context of your emotional systems response to circumstances Your nervous system isn’t your enemy—it’s been your fierce, faithful protector. And the more you can listen to it with compassion, the more ways you will learn to heal—not just your body, but your whole self.