When I was barely 30 years old, over half my lifetime ago, a cardiologist diagnosed me with a genetic heart condition and told me, “You will have a shortened life expectancy.”  In the matter of one lunch hour my dreams of living a full and rewarding life vanished.

That day he also told me, “The psychological and emotional challenges may be harder than the physical ones.”  Today, many decades later, I know he was right.

Living with a chronic heart condition means you are constantly worried that your heart will beat too fast, not fast enough, skip beats, slow down at the wrong time, stumble and tragically stop. You worry there’s not an elevator at the football stadium when others are running up the ramp or if the summer heat will leave you gasping for air. You make excuses for being tired early in the evening and remind yourself to drink two glasses of water for every glass of wine.  You shun long trips to destinations with questionable access to healthcare or doctors that don’t speak your language.

Being jittery and fidgety comes hand in hand when living with a chronic illness and this is never truer than when living with heart disease.

I’ve learned to control my anxiety by thinking of myself as two separate individuals – one, a woman living with a heart condition that occasionally causes erratic heart beats, palpitations and a sense of dread, and the other, a compassionate caregiver who knows how to walk myself back from the edge of the cliff.

I talk to myself in the steadiest voice possible. In my head, of course, but with conviction.

“You will be home soon.”  “It’s fine to sit for a while.”  “Get a glass of water.”

There will be times, however, when my own efforts aren’t enough, and I need counseling or medication to help me through a difficult period. There is no shame in seeking professional help and those specializing in treating individuals with a chronic disease are uniquely qualified to help minimize the anxiety that can matters worse.

Remember . . . you are much more than your disease. Claim it.